10 Questions To Find Out How Well You Know Your Partner…

November 1, 2016 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, Family, General, Honesty, Learning, Love, Relationships | By

love-unconditionally

Have you heard of “Love Mapping?”

It’s a technique to learn more about your partner and can be done whether you’ve been together for 6 months or 20 years!

The idea is to answer the following questions about your partner, then share the answers. If you know the answers- great! If you don’t know the answers- even better because you learn something new and you get the opportunity to have a nice discussion!

Here are just 10 questions to go over with your spouse:

  1. Who is your partners greatest source of support besides you?
  2. What is your partners favorite sport?
  3. Who was your partners best friend in grade school?
  4. Name your partners major rival or enemy.
  5. Does your partner have a secret ambition, if so, what is it?
  6. What was your partners most embarrassing moment?
  7. Who is your partners least favorite relative?
  8. What was your partner most currently sad about?
  9. What medical concern does your partner worry about?
  10. Name 2 people that your partner admires.

Ahhh.. just when you thought you new everything about your partner! 🙂

You can always learn, grow, and fall more deeply in love if you will just invest time into your relationship!

Share a few magic moments today with your partner and see how you both do with these questions and please share your results or thoughts by leaving a comment below!

As always, if you need help with your family, relationship or kids, please reach out today!

Have FUN and Happy November!!!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Are you a “Love Warrior?”

October 11, 2016 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, Education, Family, General, Happiness, Honesty, Inspiration, Love, Personal Development, Relationships, Self-Esteem, Stress | By

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Wow wow wow!!!

I recommend books all the time, but THIS book… seriously, I almost unfriended someone over it! lol

The other day I told a friend, “If you don’t read Love Warrior, we can no longer be friends!” And although I wasn’t seriously going to unfriend her, I was serious about my passion for this book!

Love Warrior will transform your thinking, and inspire your soul! I hope you will read it, and I really hope you will let me know what you think of it too. Get Love Warrior on Amazon here.

The book you don’t read won’t help! -Jim Rohn

I am not going to tell you anything about the book itself. I want you to discover all the beauty, raw truth, and inspiration for yourself. But do let me know what you think!! 🙂

Have you already read the book? Be sure to share it with someone who could use it!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

And The Greatest Of These Is Love…

March 8, 2016 | Posted in Love, Relationships, Videos | By


The greatest gift we give and receive is love. No matter what your struggles are, love is the answer. Love for one another, but even more… to love yourself.

You were created with purpose, love yourself enough to go out and live it!

Last month I had the privilege of speaking at a church in Syracuse, NY about unconditional love. The Apostolic Church was kind enough to let me record my talk, so I get to share it with you here today!

Watch it, share it, spread the love, and live inspired now!

Love,

Heather


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Saying goodbye to a friend

December 4, 2015 | Posted in Challenges, Change, General, Love, Relationships | By

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It was another “first day at my new school.” There had been many of those being raised as an Army brat but this one was different.

It was the first time we had ever lived in the “country.” I thought city schools were bad but it turns out that being an invisible fish is much better than being an outsider trying to find the smallest amount of space in an already too tiny pond.

I got on the bus and found the only seat available next to a red headed girl with a part down the middle of her hair and no bangs. She was weird. She had bunnies drawn all over her new binder and her clothes screamed… plain. This was clearly not the spot for me. I was unencumbered and looking for the kids who were outgoing and fun!

Being 9th graders on the high school bus meant we didn’t get choice seating. We were stuck with one another and it was obvious that “Carrie” was none to pleased to sit with me either.

After several weeks though, I started to make conversation and Carrie and I became fast friends. I was determined to get her some bangs in that long red hair, and she was determined to figure out why I was so weird. At that time, I had short hair with bright blonde “wings” of hair near my temples. My mom let me bleach it out during that regrettable phase in the 80’s of plastic highlighting caps that provided the unnatural streaks of big blonde teased and over-sprayed hair.

Carrie got bangs, I ended up with pink hair at some point, and we grew into best friends. We were inseparable for the entire 4 years of high school, which turned into a year of college that we both dropped out of, which turned into years and years of adulthood.

Not a single day went by when we didn’t talk, except for those brief periods when we were mad at one another. Once, we broke up for 6 whole months…. but then we were back to best friends like nothing ever happened.

Carrie named her first daughter after me… Elanee Heather and I named my last child after her… Carrie Sue.

I don’t think there could ever be a bigger honor. We even lived together for a short period of time before we realized that even we had limits of how much we could be together!

Her family had moved in with me and we had this huge plan to make it all work. We had our space, they had theirs, and it would all be perfect. Only it wasn’t. We were ready to kill one another! Carrie and her family moved out and we went back to best friends. 25 years had passed since we first sat on the bus in Romulus, NY together.

We had been through marriages, divorces, births, and even deaths. Carrie and I had another best friend. Originally, there were 3 of us; myself, Carrie, and our best friend Blake.

We met Blake in high school. He didn’t have many friends and Carrie and I were determined to befriend him and force him to have fun and love life! He  resisted at first, but he came around! We were friends for about 20 years at that point.

One morning, Carrie called hysterical. She just kept saying “Blake was dead! Blake was dead!” I thought it was a horrible joke, but it was true. Carrie had called him with a computer question, and his brother answered his cell phone. They were at the hospital with him, he was gone. He had just gotten out of the shower while he was getting ready for work, and he died of a brain aneurism. No sickness, no warning, no goodbyes, he was gone.

Carrie and I broke up a couple of months after Blake died. It was a tough time for both of us, but we got through it and were re-united as best friends again. Our kids were so happy. They too had become so close. We were like a big family really. Years went by, and I relocated back to New York. That is when we decided that her family would move in with me so she could be closer to her favorite town of Ithaca, NY.

The house I had bought had 4 acres and we had intended to eventually have her family build their own house and divide the property. So we didn’t have to live together but could still be neighbors.

It was shortly after Carrie moved out of my house that she found out she had colon cancer. Her and her family moved back to their old house, and she started to push people away. She was mad and she hadn’t spoken to me in several months. I understood.

One night, it was late, the phone rang, and all I heard Carrie say was “Are you going to come visit me or what?!?!”

She was in the hospital. She had just had major surgery to remove part of her colon and had a colostomy bag put in.

Without hesitation I said, “Yes, what room are you in?”

I went to the hospital, it was after visiting hours but I was allowed to stay. Carrie apologized for being mad and explained that she was mad about having cancer, that she was never mad at me. She was mad that she had to go through this and she was scared. I stayed the entire night with her.

After an entire night of laughing, crying, and catching up, I left the hospital the next morning feeling like my best friend was back again. Even though she was still mad and scared, and things were totally different, I knew we were OK.

Over the next 5 years, we didn’t hang out, we didn’t talk everyday, but we did stay in touch through our kids and the occasional email or card. She went through chemo, and surgery, but the cancer was not going away.

One morning, I got a call from her daughter who said she was in the hospital and not responding. She had requested hospice and was not going to survive the day. I didn’t know what to do.

I decided that I wouldn’t go. I wanted to remember my friend of 30 years the way I knew her. I wanted to remember the laughs, the milestones, the secrets, and the adventures. I didn’t want to see her dying.

Several days went by and Carrie was still hanging in there. She was unresponsive but very much alive. What if she was waiting for me? I heard her say to me again… “Are you coming to visit me or what?!?!”
It was Sunday morning, September 6th, 2015. I asked my husband Thad if he would bring me to the hospital. I arrived to see my best friend lying propped up in the hospital bed. I didn’t recognize her. I went to her bedside, and I sat and held her hand. Her hands still looked the same to me.

Holding her hand, I talked to her for a long time. I know she heard me because tears pooled up in the corners of her closed eyes. I told her that I loved her, I told her to say hello to Blake for me. I reminded her of our earliest memories, sitting on the school bus together and becoming best friends. I reminded her of the laughs, the adventures, the road trips, the kids, all the fun we had. I promised to always be there for her girls. I told her I loved her.

Carrie’s body died that afternoon, just a couple of hours after I left. I lost my best friend and there would be no getting back together from this one.

It’s been 3 months now. They say you experiences 5 stages of grief. I didn’t. I went straight for acceptance. There was no reason to deny reality. I didn’t feel angry although I was sad. I had nothing to bargain for, she couldn’t come back and depression wouldn’t serve me or honor my friends memory. So I went straight for acceptance.

I think back now and wonder how things might have been so different if there had been another seat available on the bus in 9th grade. Would any or all of this have been different? Would I have still lost my 2 best friends?

I guess it doesn’t really matter. I think all that matters is to live an adventure, forgive people, and to share as much love as you can.


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Get off the ride and have a mature relationship!

August 18, 2014 | Posted in Challenges, Communication, General, Love, Personal Development, Relationships, Stress | By

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Tired of the “ups and downs” in your relationship? Are you constantly out of balance? Does he threaten to leave while you beg “no-no-no” because you know you are going to fall hard? Or maybe you are wishing to get off the seesaw but you don’t want to drop him? It’s a vicious cycle until you decide to get OFF the ride and make changes in your relationship!

The first thing you need to do is communicate well. Talking isn’t enough. You have to know how to speak so your partner will really listen to what you have to say. Yelling, sarcasm, passive-aggressive, and ignoring are not forms of effective communication, they are however a great way to make your partner feel “unheard.”

The second thing you need is a purpose. All great relationships know what they are working toward. Unfortunately, most people just get together because “it feels good.” Well the feelings of “love” are not enough. You also need trust, respect, dedication, integrity, and a clear purpose.

The third thing you need is a plan for tough times. Nobody ever thinks they will have problems, or even break up, so they never have a plan in place for when things go to hell in a hand-basket! Life happens and if you expect it to always be perfect, you are setting yourself up for failure. Have some discussions about what to do in the event of an emergency, or who will make the final decision when you can’t agree on something. (My YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM! program has a family checklist that puts it all on paper so you can discuss and decide who is in charge of what. This program is really beneficial for ANY type of family!)

And lastly, you need someone to help you through all of this! If you are having challenges in your relationship and you want to try something that actually works, give me a call! Don’t spend years in couples counseling… it doesn’t work. I will teach you the tools to communicate effectively, help you find a purpose or create a family mission statement, and show you how to plan for the unexpected! I will also teach you how to feel like kids again without the games! You can have passion and excitement just like when you first fell in love! The only requirement is that you WANT to make changes. So get off the seesaw, contact me today, fix your relationship, and Live Inspired Now!

Heather Paris heather@liveinspirednow.com
1-607-269-7815


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!