Why you shouldn’t forgive!

May 23, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Change, General, Personal Development, Self-Esteem | By

ForgiveYourself

I know this goes against what most people say, but I don’t believe in forgiving everyone!

Some things shouldn’t be forgiven because if you do, you run the risk of softening your convictions.

Convictions are fuel for purpose and help you take action that could make positive change in the world!

Forgive a child molester, rapist, or murderer? No freakin way!

I don’t want to soften how I feel about people who pose real and actual danger to myself or other people!

You don’t owe forgiveness to anyone but yourself!

In fact, it’s not YOUR responsibility to forgive anyone BUT yourself.

I have found that most people are more upset with themselves than with the person who hurt them. They blame themselves for not “saying no,” for “not being strong enough to fight,” and even for “being stupid enough to fall for the lies.”

The real forgiveness is only owed to yourself! Stop beating yourself up for being a victim! The most empowering thing you can do is to forgive yourself and find ways to not be the victim again!

The other person can work on his or her own forgiveness. 

I would encourage you to understand instead of forgiving. So maybe you understand that the person who hurt you was abused as a child and learned to hurt others. It’s not an excuse, and no forgiveness is needed, but you understand that “hurt people hurt people.”

Forgiveness is a deeply personal act of sacrifice because you are agreeing to override your feelings to give absolution to another. This is something that should be honored and reserved for people who are truly sorry, have made amends, and will not repeat what they have done. 

Everyone else can have compassion because you are able to understand how they became so damaged, but not forgiven.

What do you think about today’s post? Hit reply to this email and let me know!

With love, gratitude, and inspiration,

Heather Paris

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Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

You can’t fix dead. 13 Reasons Why You’d Better Empower Your Kids.

April 24, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, Education, Family, General, Honesty, Learning, Moms, Parenting, Personal Development, Relationships, Stress | By

13-reasons-why

If you haven’t heard of the Netflix show “13 Reason Why” and you have children, you should really become familiar.

The long and short of it is this. A teenage girl goes through some pretty horrible experiences, creates 13 cassette tapes addressed to the people that hurt her, leaves the tapes with a friend, then goes home and commits suicide.

Does “13 Reasons Why” glorify suicide? Yes, and no. Let me explain…

If your child is mentally and emotionally strong and resilient, and not easily influenced, then no, it’s not glorifying suicide.

If your child is mentally or emotionally vulnerable, has little or no control over their emotions, and is easily influenced, then yes, absolutely it will glorify suicide to your child who’s watching the show in a raw mental state. 

I personally watched the entire series with my 15 year old daughter Carrie. There were violent scenes including 2 rapes, underage drinking and drugs, horrendous examples of parenting, and countless disappointments that make you want to scream to the screen to save this poor young girl who was already dead in the first episode. They even showed her suicide, and it wasn’t a hint, it was a full gut wrenching, emotionally torturous scene.

Carrie and I cried, we were appalled, we cringed and closed our eyes, and we gasped but most of all…. we talked. 

I don’t think any child, no matter what age, should be allowed to watch this show without parental participation and input. Again, if your teen is struggling… this series will show them how much influence a dead girl has on the world and I know that is NOT what you want your teen focused on if they are in pain.

Let me share with you 13 Reason Why you’d better empower your kids, before they think that suicide is a good option.

  1. It’s your job, responsibility, and obligation to ensure your child’s mental, emotional, social, and physical safety at all times and you can’t do that if you don’t know what they are watching, who they are with, and what they are experiencing.
  2. Your kind words may be the only ones they hear in a day.
  3. Anti-bullying campaigns don’t work. There will always be bully’s and mean people. The best way to protect your child is to teach them to protect themselves! Teach them emotional intelligence and resilience, mental strength, and some physical training wouldn’t hurt either! Self defense classes are a great way to help young people feel more secure!
  4. Make it safe for them to talk to you about anything so you can help them when they struggle. Let them know they will not get in trouble for being honest because their safety is your first priority!
  5. You can’t fix dead.
  6. When they leave the house, they need to know that no matter how bad the day was, they have a safe place to come home to. Safe from fighting, abuse, neglect, and despair… otherwise, they will find another place to spend their time and it only has to be LESS abusive, not healthy.
  7. Kids who are engaged in groups, sports, or activities with people, feel more accepted and connected and less likely to feel desperate.
  8. Kids who know how to care for their own emotional and mental needs are less likely to be discouraged when they are faced with challenges or tough times.
  9. Kids who are discerning are less likely to hang out with people who are involved in risky behavior or with people who won’t have their best interest in mind.
  10. Confident kids will advocate for themselves when they need it.
  11. Kids who understand consequences make better choices.
  12. Kids learn from, copy, and are deeply influenced by TV shows and if you don’t agree with me then explain to me why advertisers pay millions of dollars for one Superbowl commercial!
  13. Suicide doesn’t take pain away, it just gives it to other people.

Listen, this show can be a nightmare or an opportunity. If your child is struggling, don’t let them watch it and take this as a HUGE SCREAMING SIGN to do something to empower your kiddo before it’s too late! Never take your child’s safety for granted.

It is your responsibility to model good emotional and mental health for your children and to communicate with them! You can’t over communicate!

Please please please talk to your kids today. If you need help, reach out!! If you feel like you need to learn some mental and emotional intelligence yourself, join my life coach training course now and get what you need to empower yourself and your family! (Registration closes at the end of this week.)

There is NO substitute for your relationship with your child. They need you even if they say they don’t. They want you to know them, even if they say they don’t. And they love you even if they don’t say it.

Please share this article with anyone who has children. Let’s spread the word and see how many families we can help! Thank you!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!

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You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: open 24/7
Call 1-800-273-8255


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

How to shut judgmental people down quickly!!

April 11, 2017 | Posted in Anxiety, Challenges, Communication, General, Personal Development, Relationships, Stress | By

Ugh… judgmental comments like….

  • “Are you really going to eat that, I thought you were on a diet?”
  • “Does your boss know you’re taking a full hour for lunch?”
  • “Ohhh, you let your kids go to the park by themselves?”

Frustrating right?

Well, getting angry, frustrated, or reacting gives away your power!!

Watch today’s short video and learn how to keep your power while shutting down the judgmental person in a gentle yet highly effective way!!

If you’ve ever dreamed of helping people turn their lives around, create happiness, or fix their broken relationship or family…. then please consider joining the Live Inspired Now Coach Training!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

Your friends already come to your for advice…. add these practical coaching strategies to your toolbox and blow your friends mind with your awesomeness! Become a life coach…. get paid for what you already do, and make a huge impact on your world!

Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to help your children, students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us today and share your gift with the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

The solution to EVERY bad marriage put in simple terms….

January 31, 2017 | Posted in Challenges, Change, General, Honesty, Personal Development, Relationships | By

Years ago, when I was in an unhealthy relationship, I was desperate to find a way to fix it, until I could no longer stand it, then I was desperate to find a way out.

I was so consumed with trying to find a way out and I was so focused on how unhappy I was, that I could never really see any options.

Have you ever felt that lost? I remember sitting in my car with my BFF and just balling my eyes and telling her I just wanted things to be different. I wanted to love, or even would have settled for “liking” my spouse again, but I just didn’t. I felt so trapped, like I was doomed to stay in a state of limbo.

One day, while driving in my car, it all became clear to me. It was like the sun shone directly on me and opened up my soul or something!

And in that moment, for a brief time, I wasn’t consumed with misery and despair, so clarity finally had room to flood in.

It was me… I had been preventing my own growth because I had only been focusing on the problem… and not taking any responsibility for my relationship.

Blaming others, feeling bad, and focusing on my own misery, were the very things holding me back from making a change and fixing my own life! All my excuses seemed to fade away and I realized that I had 3 options to choose from:

  • Stay and be miserable.
  • Stay and be happy.
  • Leave. 

Stay and be miserable was what I had been doing and it wasn’t working, so that option was a big fat NO!

Stay and be happy didn’t work either. I’d love to say I was strong enough to “just love” someone who was acting unlovable, but I wasn’t. No matter how much I tried, prayed, meditated, etc… in my heart, I knew that I couldn’t stay. It wasn’t good for me, or for him, and it certainly wasn’t good for the kids.

Leaving was the kindest option and so I left. I felt free. I felt alive again. I felt like I liked myself again. I could breathe. I could remember what made me happy. I could be a better example. I could heal.

I had resisted leaving for a long time because I didn’t know how things would work logistically.

  • How would I make it as a single mom?
  • How would I pay my bills?
  • How would I take care of a big house alone? 

The truth was, all these things worked themselves out. It took time, and it was terrifying. But it all worked out. I handled everything that came my way!

Things always work out for the greater good when we focus on truth instead of fear.

I have no regrets. I’ve made tons of mistakes in the past, but I am deeply grateful for every single one of them because it brought me to this moment to share what I have learned.

I am now living and loving every little bit of my life and if someone had told me that back then, I would’ve  never believed it!

Stop blaming, making excuses, and focusing on the negative. Take a good hard look at your decisions, actions, behaviors, thoughts, words, and choices and see how YOU are the solution to your problems!

You are not the problem, you are the SOLUTION to the problem!

I hope you will look forward in faith and make the decision to challenge yourself to make the changes you need to love your life again!

I know you can handle it, and I look forward to hearing about your success!

Experience has made me wise, coaching has shown me how to share that wisdom.

If you are ready to turn your life around and teach others how to as well, please learn more about the Live Inspired Now Coach Training which is open again for enrollment! Live Inspired Now Coach Training Course

You can use your experience, combined with the skills you learn to give your children an advantage when they go out into the world, you can share what you learn with students, friends, family members, or your community!

Join us and be a gift to the world! 

Love and inspiration,

Heather Paris


Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!

Awesome gift ideas for the “hard to buy for” people!!

December 6, 2016 | Posted in Challenges, Family, Feel Good, General, Giving, Inspiration | By

Thad wins in my house for giving the BEST gifts ever! I try really hard to compete, but most often fall short of his amazingness in gift giving! 🙂

With that in mind, I was thinking that maybe some of his ideas from the past would be great gift suggestions for YOU! Plus, I am going to throw in some of my suggestions as well!

So here you go, mine and Thad’s super spectacular, wow them to tears, gift giving ideas:

  • Box of date nights: Thad bought a shoe box sized plastic bin and filled it with date night tickets that he printed himself. There were enough to pick one date night ticket per week for an entire year and each ticket had a super fun date night activity. Some were obvious like dinner and a movie, but other activities were things like paper airplane competition, test drive a car, and cook a meal together. Be creative!!
  • The never ending Christmas: One year, my only Christmas wish was to not have Christmas end. Thad filled a large mason jar with love notes and put just one note in that said “You can open your last Christmas present.” I couldn’t open that last present until I found that one note and each day I got to open a note with a sweet, lovey message until I found the open your last gift. I left one of the Christmas trees up all year with that last present under it until I found the note. This was by far my favorite gift ever!!!
  • Put it in a book: Before I decided to publish my latest book “I Have a Guardian Angel” Thad had it printed and made into a book for me at a Kodak kiosk. You can take any pictures, love notes, or anything you can imagine and have them turned into a lovely keepsake book!
  • Something to look forward to: Buy tickets for several shows, plays, or events throughout the year so you have something to look forward to doing together!
  • Cook and serve a romantic meal at home: One year we couldn’t go out because we had no babysitter, so I set up a table and chairs in our bedroom and I served Thad a romantic candle lit meal. With the door locked and music on, it was like we were out of the house on a romantic date!
  • Gift card fun: Thad once gave me a bunch of gift cards (for small amounts) so we could go shopping together! I used them throughout the year here and there and Thad helped me pick stuff out! Be sure to add a note that says you get to have fun spending them together! (My cards were for Starbucks, Victoria Secrets, Target, and a few others!)
  • Build something: We’ve done a lot of building stuff. One year I took wooden crates (bought at the craft store) turned them sideways, added a shelf, put wheels on the bottom and painted them. I also painted the kids names on top and they were adorable little side tables! I added a flat Lego piece to the top of one for our son Ethan so he could build Lego worlds on top!
  • Make something: One year I created a cookbook for my daughter who was going to school for culinary arts. I decorated a 3 ring binder and added all of her favorite recipes that I cook, as well as some family recipes too!
  • Free wifi: This year my dad just got his first computer… an iPad. He’s learning how to use it but my parents didn’t have wifi so I got my dad some accessories including ear buds for his iPad and several Dunkin Donuts gift cards. He loves Dunkin Donuts and they are close to his house so I thought he could go there and buy a coffee and use their wifi while he practiced “inter-netting.” (Mom ended up getting wifi so now Dad will just have lots of free coffee. lol)
  • Money Money Money: My mom loves to give money and gift cards to the kids. One year, she taped 50 one dollar bills together and rolled them up. She cut a slit in a toilet paper tube and wrapped it up with the dollars inside so they could be pulled out of the slit like a money dispenser! Our son had fun pulling the money out and counting all the dollars!
  • Hidden treasures: My daughter Carrie loves to hide surprises for me to find! Wrap up a note that says “Your present is hidden in your office or room” and let the fun begin! Carrie always hides “1 free foot rub” coupons in my office! How lucky am I???
  • Remember when: Thad helped me remember an amazing time in Hawaii when he built me a serving tray and “tiled” it with black rocks like the rocks on the beach in Hawaii. Then he took white rocks and spelled out Thather, just like we had done, and he glued them over the black rocks. It was just like being back on the beach!

There are SOOOOOO many great ways to give gifts that don’t cost much but will be treasured forever! For those of you who would like to buy some things though, here are a few of my favorites:

These are just a few of my favorites. I would LOVE to hear what you think! Please post your greatest gift ideas in the comments!

I hope you come up with something great and always remember that YOU are the true gift!

Love and Inspiration,

Heather

PS:

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Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!