It has been said that when the Japanese repair something that has been broken, they fix it with gold because they believe the cracks are historical and beautiful. This is true with people too. When you make a mistake or do something you regret, fill yourself up with something better. Wallowing in guilt, sadness, or drama won’t make the situation better than it was. Fill yourself up with positive actions toward repairing what you broke. Maybe that means apologizing, getting help, taking drastic steps to ensure you won’t make the same mistake, or sometimes it just takes time and patience. Be proactive and take positive steps: hire a coach, read self help books, learn new behaviors and become self actualized. We all make mistakes but it’s the choices we make after the mistake that determine the full extent of the damage. Will you prolong the suffering and create lots of drama around it or will you fill your cracks with gold?
Today, take out the tools needed to fill your cracks with gold and turn your mistakes into lessons that will make you stronger and wiser and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Last night a friend of the family came over for dinner. He is a young man (19) that is going through recovery from drug and alcohol addiction; he has been sober for 5 months. At my request, he was kind enough to share his story with our children. We all sat and listened as he told us about his drug addiction, the ways in which he funded it and all the horrid circumstances that resulted. Then he shared with us how difficult it was to get clean and how hard it is dealing with all the destruction that he created. He encouraged our kids to do whatever they had to do in order to make good and healthy choices and to avoid all drugs and alcohol.
We have had (and still have) several family member that are addicts and I was grateful that our children were able to speak with an addict that is in recovery. It was nice for them to see that you can get sober if you prioritize it. I also appreciated him letting the kids know how much he wished he had just made better choices and not used drugs, not stolen from people, not broken important relationships and mostly how he had to relearn how to do everything all over again… clean.
Our kids asked several questions and we gave him a round of applause for his sobriety and offered our continued support while he is in recovery.
As you all know I am a huge supporter of real, honest and open communication with children and the drug and alcohol conversation can’t be had too much. Let them know how you feel about drug use, don’t say “Your gonna try it anyway but…..” Never assume a kid will make a bad choice, give them the opportunity to make good choices, keep them informed, let them know the effects of drug use and be open to questions. The more they learn from YOU, the less they will learn from friends or other influences at school or on the bus. So today, have an open conversation about drug and alcohol use with your kids, let them know your personal values for your family and Live Inspired Now!
PS: Need support or advice on how best to speak with your kids? Please contact me today! The conversations your have today build the foundation for the choices kids make tomorrow.
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Want to achieve more self confidence? The best way to do that is to focus on helping or contributing to others. Lack of self confidence is actually conceited in that it is all about you. YOU are not good enough, YOU are not thin enough, YOU are not smart enough or YOU aren’t good enough for love…. all focus on YOU. This thinking is self focused rather than self actualized. Self actualization is when you accept who you are and are fulfilling your full potential; or at least working toward it. Self focus is when you solely focus on yourself, you are not trying to grow or evolve rather just thinking about yourself, your needs or what you lack.
If you want to have more self confidence, start to think about what you can do to help others. You could volunteer, mentor a child, help a friend, offer your time and resources, whatever it is… just take the focus off of yourself. Put the focus on lifting others up and your confidence will automatically build. Turn that self “focus” into self actualization and evolve as a person. So if you lack confidence, find local volunteering opportunities, focus on building someone else up while you evolve and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
When speaking with children always use what I call “matter of fact” speaking. Oh man, I could go on for days with this one but I will keep it brief. Basically, kids understand way more than we think they do! We all face challenges and tough times in our lives but trying to “shield” kids from that is just not realistic. Let the kids know what is going on with age appropriate words and matter of fact speaking by being honest and open. For example: if your child’s other parent won’t call or spend time with the child, do not call him names and tell him his dad is a jerk. Simply state the facts as you know them and show that you care. “I am sorry your dad has not picked you up for visitation in a month. How do you feel about that?” Then, let the child guide his own feelings….. when you say “I’m sure that makes you feel sad” you are implying your own feelings to the child. Maybe the child isn’t really sad, maybe he is angry or maybe he is actually OK with it all…… whatever the case may be, do not guide his emotions with your words. This allows the child to express their true feelings and it validates how they feel. If you think the kids “don’t hear you arguing because you don’t do it in front of the kids” you are wrong. Kids see how mom and dad act, react and interact…. if you are having challenges, let the kids know. It is OK for them to know that Mom and Dad are working through difficulties but it is not OK for them to think this behavior is the norm and we just pretend it doesn’t exist.
So today, be matter of fact when speaking with your children, value them and understand how perceptive they are and Live Inspired Now!
PS: If you have a child that is struggling, please contact me right away. I have effective and simple programs and coaching designed specifically for children that will get them back on track. (Divorce, sadness, bullying, school concerns, relationship issues, parent/child communication…… I have the tools to help you in all of these areas and more!)
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
Many of us have walked through life on automatic pilot, just getting through the day without ever engaging in it. We wake up, go to work, come home, dinner, TV then bed and we just do it over and over without every really examining why. Why would we bother living a mundane existence when life can be so expressive, creative, fun and full of passion? It is time to sniff the peppermint and wake yourself up! FEEL something, CREATE something, DO something, do SOMEONE 🙂 and find a way to fully express your inner passion and desires. Do not walk around in a fog, just doing the same thing you have always done. Try something new, get excited about something, schedule something to look forward to and get your family or friends involved. If nothing else… listen to something that makes you laugh so you can FEEL again and get rid of the numbness. Try it today, turn off autopilot, you will be amazed by the possibilities when you start to pay attention and Live Inspired Now!
Heather Paris inspires people all over the world to create happier lives through talks, workshops, blog posts, and her book, Live Inspired Now; A Field Guide For Happiness. For more information about transforming your relationship, family, or your life, contact Heather today!
